Movie Recipes

• 1 pkg Cast Away, crushed
• 1 lb 28 Days Later…, steamed
• 2 cans 30 Days of Night
• 2 cups Jurassic Park
• 1 scoatch of Children of Men

Begin by building a base layer of solitude and loneliness. Then add various zombies being careful not to compromise the base. Add the slightest bit of hope residing in a single person then sprinkle villainous intelligence being sure to spread evenly to prevent it from banding together and messing up your casserole. Bake at 350° until twilight.

• 5 lbs The Silence of the Lambs
• 2 cans Kiss the Girls
• 1 cup Fracture
• 1 cup Commandments
• 2 tbsp No Country For Old Men
• a dash The Number 23
• a pinch Summer of Sam

John Doe said, “It’s more comfortable for you to label me as insane.” This recipe is reflective of that quote in every way. The parts are just as crazy as the result.  One thing is for sure though, you’ll never think of a meat dish the same way again. 

The New York Times created this really nifty visualization of the revenue (after adjusting for inflation of course) streams of movies in the theaters.  They’ve done all the movies since 1986 and it’s interesting to see how the we’ve increased our movie-going tendencies over the last 22 years.  The last 10 years have been pretty huge in comparison to the decade between 1986 and 1996.  It’s also pretty interesting to see how long some of the films were in theaters.  Titanic was in the theater for about 8 months.

Check it out here

• 3/4 cup The 40 Year Old Virgin
• 3/4 cup A Night at the Roxbury
• 1 Dumb and Dumber, diced
• 8 oz can of Knocked Up

What we have here is your typical fruitcake. It’s fabulously wonderful sometimes, and absolutely atrocious at other times. Basically you have to be in the right mood to fully enjoy what this dish brings to the table. Sometimes you love it and nothing else could fill the need of your taste buds.  And others, well … it’s just better when it’s not on your plate.

• 6 ounces Erin Brockovich
• 1 pack Thank You For Smoking, mild
• 2 fillets The Pelican Brief
• 3 tbsp Runaway Jury

It’s often said that too much of a good thing is bad. That can also be said of things consumed simultaneously, that individually may be awesome, but together create a concoction few would choose willingly. Like mixing all the soft drinks at Burger King together in one cup; it just ain’t all that and a bag of chips. You’ll at least try it once though, just to see what it’s like. This entrée is certainly palatable, but each of the spices interact in such a way that the flavors become indistinguishable and overall kind of bland.

•  2 pounds Millions
• 1 sack Sin City, crushed
• 1 raw Die Hard: With a Vengeance

The coup de grâce to a fine meal.  It’s sure to punch you in the face with its bold intense flavor.  Depending on your mood, you’ll be shocked by the flavor of any number of the ingredients.  But one thing remains for sure, it’s a memorable taste, and once is probably not enough.

• 1 pkg The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
• 2 cups hot Return to Oz
• 1 cup Conan the Destroyer
• 1/2 cup chilled Braveheart

Every child loves JELL-O.  Making it is fun and easy, and there’s always room for J-E-L-L-O to satisfy even the softest rumbly in the tumbly.  Our vertically challenged protagonist follows a similar course.  He doesn’t immediately congeal into the evil-sorceress-fighting-unified-army-leading magician that he is by the end, but rather takes his time.  And anyone who’s had a jiggler knows that they’re well worth the wait.

• 3 large Titanic
• 4 cloves Tristan + Isolde
• 2 cups August Rush
• a pinch The Notebook

Often the impression you have of something, be it book, film, or food, depends on your individual perspective. Such is the case with Atonement. We find the flavor is dominated by your frame of reference. Some of our proletarian friends might think this dish too aristocratic at first, but will soon realize they are most certainly not beneath the duplicitous nature of supposed sophistication.

In honor of the Academy Awards we’re going to be posting our recipe for each of the five best picture nominees this week. We’ll, it’s really four since we’ve already done Juno. We’re starting today with There Will Be Blood, followed by Atonement on Tuesday, No Country For Old Men on Thursday, and Michael Clayton on Friday. We’ll keep our “vintage” recipe for Wednesday for anyone who likes only pre-2000 movies.

After the Oscar’s we’ll try and do the winners, assuming we’ve seen them and haven’t yet posted a recipe. If we haven’t, we’ll watch them and/or let you know what we think.

• A Clockwork Orange
• The Battle of Shaker Heights
• Road to Perdition
• The Aviator
• Secret ingredient

This is a recipe you can make in almost any quantity. You just need to mix equal parts of all the ingredients and you’ll have the right mix. You may think it’s too easy, but it really does work.

Even the most astute food critics have trouble identifying all the succulent flavors in this dish. There’s so much going on … so many different herbs and spices it’s impossible to identify them individually. Usually, with so many flavors, they inevitably interfere with each other, but not so here. Notwithstanding the boldness, something magical happens and you get something impossible to describe, yet unpredictably scrumptious.