Movie Recipes

• 2 cups Underworld
• 1/2 heaping cup Poseidon
• 3 CC’s Dreamcatcher
• a sprinkling of Slither
• 1 bottle of red food coloring

Wikipedia (the most reliable source in the history of sources) says that vampires are “folkloric revenants who subsist by feeding on the blood of the living.” This, in a way, makes them very similar to the subsistence farmers that emerged during the Neolithic Revolution. And like farming, they constantly refine their stalking and killing techniques so that they may sup whenever necessary, even if that means moving to Barrow, Alaska for the right amount of sun … err moon … to “grow their crop,” if you will. Throw in a selfless wannabe hero and the harvest turns into a game / gore-fest. Oh, and I think we all know what the red food coloring is for…