Movie Recipes

Some dishes are best when you’ve been looking forward to them for a while. Other meals are more enjoyable when they are unexpected. You may have tried something similar before, but this time you may be pleasantly surprised by a slight change in presentation. All the ingredients seem to be the same as before, but this meal is refreshing in its twist on an old favorite.

Ingredients

• 1 large, unwashed 28 Weeks Later
• Large Pot of Dawn of the Dead
• 250g Outbreak
• Pinch of coarse The Blair Witch Project
• Garnish with I Am Legend

Method

1. Peel the 28 Weeks Later, dice and cook in a pan of boiling Dawn of the Dead until tender.
2. Dice the resulting mixture and fry in a pan for 3-4 minutes until it begins to go crispy and crumble.
3. Drain Outbreak, add to the Dawn of the Dead/28 Weeks Later mixture and continue to fry for 2-3 minutes.
4. Remove from pan, season with a little Blair Witch Project.
5. Put on a plate and garnish with chopped I am Legend.

Everyone give a warm welcome to our newest sous chef, Nick!  He’s from Australia, so he better bring us some good kangaroo and koala bear recipes.  The next recipe is from him so, leave him some good comments.

• 1 lb Eyes Wide Shut
• 1 cup 10
• 4 Tbsp Unfaithful
• 1/4 cup Cold Mountain

Hypothetically speaking, let’s say you are a silk smuggler.  Thus, you have a lot of silkworm carcasses to dispose of.  So why not make them into a tasty treat?  After you’ve removed Eyes Wide Shut from their silk cocoons put them in a bowl and pour 10 and Unfaithful over them and mix.  Add Cold Mountain for the right ambiance and aroma then throw into a pot and boil for about 10 minutes.  Then put them onto platters and serve them to your friends.  As the silk smuggling trade is rather prosperous, if your friends are not fans, just remind them it is a delicacy and that their taste buds are not sophisticated to enjoy such a treat – hypothetically speaking, of course.

• 1 cup Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
• 1 cup The 40 Year Old Virgin
• 1 tsp Yours, Mine, and Ours

It’s not every day that you get a new brother, so when it does happen you should have something special for dinner.  Well, maybe not dinner, but definitely some fancy sauce for your chicken fingers.  It’s super delicious, and you probably won’t want to share it, but you might find it will turn out alright in the long run.  All you have to do is add all the ingredients to a bowl and stir until it’s well mixed.

• 2 Rushmore, twice daily
• 1 Son of Rambow at breakfast and dinner
• 1 American Beauty before bed

Tell me how you feel about that?  What do you think caused these feelings of nervousness?  Do you feel anxious all the time or just when certain events occur?  I’m going to go ahead and prescribe some medication I think may help you get control of your life and your emotions.  Take two Rushmore twice a day, two in the morning and two at night.  I’m also going to put you on a Son of Rambow regiment to help with the hyperactivity.  And lastly, take an American Beauty before bed to keep your mind from racing.  That should help you get a good night’s rest.  Let me know how these are working for you in a week.

• 4 cups Empire Records
• 8 Dawg
• 3 cups Broken Flowers
• 2 Tbsp Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Top 5 break up foods:  1. ice cream, 2. peanut butter, 3. oreos, 4. chocolate, 5. popcorn.  Sure, you can go out and buy any of these but that’ll only take your mind off of the break up for so long.  Why not stay home and make your own ice cream?  Begin by thoroughly blending Empire Records and Dawg together.  Then slowly mix in Broken Flowers and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Pour into an ice cream maker and churn for 45 minutes.  Hand churned is best for taking your mind of things, but if you don’t have the stamina for that you can use an electric churner and make a list of your top five ice cream flavors instead.  Once ready, grab a spoon (no bowl is necessary), and dig in.  It’ll put you in a good mood, well, at least a better one so that you can make a mixed tape to take your mind off your former other for a little while longer.

• 2 cups Garfield
• 2 North
• 1 cup Hook
• 1 tsp Over the Hedge
• a pinch Music and Lyrics

Can’t afford to buy frozen waffles anymore because you just can’t write that hit song?  Save some money by making your own.  Begin by mixing all the ingredients together in a bowl.  Spoon onto the waffle iron, but cook about 1-2 minutes less than suggested on the iron.  Break the waffle into pieces and store in the freezer for winter, errr, later.  When desired throw a couple in the toaster and enjoy that frozen waffle taste.  Any pet rodents that may be living with you will probably be particularly fond of these.  It’s the perfect mix of deliciousness and simplicity for any family meal.

• 8 oz Good Will Hunting water
• 2 oz Spider-Man
• a splash of Lucky You
• a twist A Beautiful Mind

When your trying to beat the house, you want to make sure you’re on top of your game.  This means no getting drunk for you.  But you need to make sure it looks like you’re drinking so you don’t look suspicious.  Having a nice faux-cocktail in your hand will definitely fool the security dudes.  Pour A Beautiful Mind, Spider-Man, and Lucky You in a shaker and give it a few shakes.  Strain it into a high ball glass and drop in the twist of Good Will Hunting.  Sip it at your blackjack table while you watch your earnings rack up.

• 1 ball Slither
• 1 cup Resident Evil: Apocalypse
• 4 cups Transformers
• 1/4 lb Freddy vs. Jason, thinly sliced

Why do delivery when you can make it yourself and maybe see the cute delivery boy?  It’s not very hard and no doubt it will taste better.  You can save some time by picking up a ball of Slither, from either your local pizzeria or the grocery store.  Roll it flat and round, then slightly bunch the edges to make the crust, thick or thin depending on your preference.  Spoon on your Resident Evil: Apocalypse and spread all over Slither.  Then sprinkle on Transformers and evenly space out Freddy vs. Jason on top of that.  Bake in the oven at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes, or until Transformers is melted.  Be sure to keep an eye out for any other worldly creatures while you make this because whether they’ve got a keen sense of smell or infrared vision, you’re likely to be found while working on this warm and aromatically delicious treat.

• 1 The Italian Job crust
• 1 cup The Bank Job sauce
• 2 cups grated Ocean’s Eleven

Have you ever carried out a successful heist?  I personally haven’t, but I bet it would make me hungry.  I think what I’d want to quell that hunger is a pizza.  If you can’t get any delivered to you, then you can just make this simple cheese pizza recipe yourself.  Bake The Italian Job according to the instructions, but for half the required time.  After half the time, remove the pan and spread on The Bank Job and cover with Ocean’s Eleven.  Put it back in to bake for the rest of the time.  The edges should be brown and the Ocean’s Eleven nice and melty.  If for some reason the pizza doesn’t do it for you, maybe you could get some sandwiches instead?