Movie Recipes

• 1 envelope Meet the Robinsons
• 2 cups A Bug’s Life
• 3/4 cup Robots
• 1 1/2 Tbsp Young Frankenstein

When you day job includes acts of mad science, you may tend to bring it home with you.  So why not make the best of it and make a dessert that’s alive – Jell-O.  Sure, you won’t be inventing something new, but you can certainly perfect the recipe.  Bring 1 cup of A Bug’s Life to a boil on the stove then remove from heat and mix in Meet the Robinsons, Robots, and Young Frankenstein.  Once all is dissolved and blended, pour in a chilled cup of A Bug’s Life.  Chill in the refrigerator until firm.  As you eat it you might notice the life-like wiggles, now if only there were a way to incorporate that into your experiments.  Then you could easily win the Evil Science Fair.

• 2 slices of Halloween
• 1/4 pound thinly sliced Identity
• 3 tsp High Tension (Haute Tension)

If you’re going to be doing a lot of mining, you won’t have lot of time to come back up for lunch.  You can’t exactly easily heat something up in a microwave either, so you’ll need something super easy and transportable to take with you.  Especially if you need to book it out of there on the double.  A sandwich is simple, practical, light, and easy to transport.  Just spread High Tension on your Halloween slices and layer on the Identity.  Stick it in a ziploc bag and head on down the shaft.  Just keep an eye out for the slient guy in the gas mask…he might really want your sandwich.

• 1/2 cup Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
• 1 1/4 teaspoons Dude Where’s My Car
• 4 1/2 teaspoons EuroTrip
• 2 1/2 cups American Pie
• 2 1/2 cups Without a Paddle
• 2 1/2 cups Orange County

When you hit the road with a bunch of friends, you’re gonna need snacks. One of the best ideas, so that there’s something for everyone to enjoy, is to bring a big tub of Chex Mix. Sure every chex mix is slightly different to the next, but at the end of the day its about including the ingredients from other recipes that you’ve already tried.

Preheat oven to 250°F.  Heat Harold and Kumar go to White Castle in large 8-quart pot until melted and add Dude Where’s My Car and EuroTrip and set aside. In large bowl, measure  American Pie, Without a Paddle and Orange County, mix together. Add dry ingredients to Harold and Kumar go to White Castle mixture and stir until evenly coated. Place mixture in a large pan (I usually use my roasting pan) and bake for 1 hour, stirring approximately every 15 minutes. Put in a big tin of some sort, and hit the road. Who knows what hijinks await you.

• 2 lbs Rocky Balboa
• 8 cloves Death of a Salesman
• 3 Tbsp Bull Durham
• a pinch freshly ground Ready to Rumble

Professional wrestlers often have lingering aches and pains that can negatively affect them while they work.  Additionally, they need plenty of protein and carbs to keep their energy level up during their matches.  So, here is a recipe that can solve both problems – a delicious dip that can double as a healing salve.  Allow Rocky Balboa to boil for 45 minutes then drain.  Puree using a food processor.  Mix in diced Death of a Salesman cloves, Bull Durham, and Ready to Rumble.  Your dip (or salve) is now ready to use and it’s probably better than any dip you can buy in the store or any pain killer that can be purchased from a locker room druggist.

• 1 pound ground chuck Shallow Hal
• 14 oz can of diced Hitch
• 1 large There’s Something About Mary
• 2 cups quick cooking Loser

How often have you been in need of a novelty meatloaf?  I know I’ve had it happen on several occasions.  You show up to a party or to eat dinner with your date, only to find out that you were supposed to bring something.  Crap, I wish I had the number to that restaurant that makes phallic meatloaf right about now so I could get that meatloaf up, hot, and ready for consumption.  Well, now you can just make your own at home with this simple recipe.  Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl and then shape into whatever offensive shape you desire.  Bake it in the oven for 30 minutes at 350 F.  If all goes well, you’ll have her running out the door in no time flat.

Here are the Razzie Award nominees for the worst movies and performances of 2008.  The Razzies will be given out Saturday, February 21st, 2009, the day before the Oscars.  How many of these did you see?  I’ve seen six of them.

WORST PICTURE

• Disaster Movie & Meet The Spartans (Two bad movies, one tired-ass concept)
• The Happening (Ouch, M. Night that’s gotta hurt!)
• The Hottie and The Nottie
• In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
• The Love Guru (Like no one saw that one coming.)

WORST ACTOR

• Larry The Cable Guy, Witless Protection
• Eddie Murphy, Meet Dave
• Mike Myers, The Love Guru
• Al Pacino, 88 Minutes & Righteous Kill (double ouch!)
• Mark Wahlberg, The Happening & Max Payne

WORST ACTRESS

• Jessica Alba, The Eye & The Love Guru
• The cast of The Women, (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan)
• Cameron Diaz, What Happens In Vegas
• Paris Hilton, The Hottie and The Nottie
• Kate Hudson, Fools Gold & My Best Friend’s Girl

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

• Uwe Boll, Uwe Boll’s Postal
• Pierce Brosnan, Mama Mia!
• Ben Kingsley, The Love Guru & The Wackness
• Burt Reynolds, Deal & In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
• Verne Troyer, The Love Guru & Uwe Boll’s Postal
  

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

• Carmen Electra, Meet The Spartans & Disaster Movie
• Paris Hilton, Repo: The Genetic Opera
• Kim Kardashian, Disaster Movie
• Jenny McCarthy, Witless Protection
  
• Leelee Sobieski, 88 Minutes & In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale Read the rest of this entry »

• 4 lbs Ray
• 2 cups Tap
• 3/4 cup 8 Mile
• 2 tsp Chicago

Whether you’re in jail, in the studio, or at home with mom, one of the best foods is mashed potatoes.  Here’s a recipe that’s so delicious you won’t care if East Side was better than West Side or vise versa.  Begin by peeling and quartering all of the Ray.  Then put in a pot and add water until all Ray are covered.  Add in Chicago and boil for about 15 minutes.  Drain, return to pot and begin mashing.  Blend in Tap and 8 Mile.  Once finished, you’ll have enough mashed potatoes for your whole family – mom, girlfriend(s), kid(s), etc.  You may find yourself wanting to take a plate into your room for a late night snack, just be sure to clean up after yourself so your mom doesn’t have to deal with nasty, dried up old mashed potatoes.

The nominees for the 81st Annual Academy Awards were announced this morning in Beverly Hills, CA.  The awards show takes place on Sunday, February 22, 2009 and Hugh Jackman is scheduled to host the festivities.  Below is the list of the awards categories and the nominees.

Best motion picture of the year

• Slumdog Millionaire
  
• Milk
• Frost/Nixon
  
• The Reader
  
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  

Performance by an actor in a leading role

• Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon
• Richard Jenkins in The Visitor
  
• Sean Penn in Milk
• Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  
• Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler
  

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

• Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
  
• Josh Brolin in Milk
• Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder
  
• Philip Seymour Hoffman in Doubt
• Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road
  

Performance by an actress in a leading role

• Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married
  
• Angelina Jolie in Changeling
• Melissa Leo in Frozen River
  
• Meryl Streep in Doubt
• Kate Winslet in The Reader

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

• Amy Adams in Doubt
• Penelop Cruz in Vicky Christina Barcelona
• Viola Davis in Doubt
• Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler
  
• Taraji P. Henson in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  

Best animated feature film of the year

• Bolt
  
• Wall-E
• Kung Fu Panda Read the rest of this entry »

• 2 cans Forrest Gump
• 2 cups 13 Going On 30
• 1/2 cup The Notebook
• 3/4 teaspoon Love in the Time of Cholera
• 1/8 teaspoon Titanic
• dash The Perfect Storm

Get comfortable.  You’ll want to savor this New Orleans classic, Shrimp Creole. The word “creole” refers to a blending of items and this recipe takes several genres and lets them marinate.  This is a dish you can definitely enjoy your entire life.

Heat oil in large heavy skillet. Add Forrest Gump and cook until pink, stirring often. Remove from skillet and set aside. Add 13 Going on 30 to the same skillet and cook until lightly browned. Stir in The Notebook, Love in the Time of Cholera, Titanic, and sprinkle The Perfect Storm to flavor. Simmer, uncovered, over low heat for about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and combine with Forrest Gump. Let cool. Place into 1 1/2-quart casserole dish.

At this point you may choose to freeze the dish for later or cook it right away. Remember, time allows the flavors to merge, so don’t rush! When ready to cook, cover with foil and bake 1 hour in a preheated 400° oven. Serve with rice or noodles.

• 8 cups Beethoven cereal
• 1 cup My Dog Skip chips
• 3/4 cup extra creamy Turner & Hooch
• 1/4 cup Old Yeller
• 2 cups powdered Must Love Dogs

There aren’t too many foods that dogs eat that people will also eat; the other direction is pretty much a free for all.  There are certainly people-only versions of dog food that we can enjoy though.  This one is puppy chow!  Melt the My Dog Skip, Turner & Hooch, and Old Yeller, together. Pour over the Beethoven in a large kettle or bowl and stir well. Pour the powdered Must Love Dogs into a large brown paper bag and add the cereal. Fold the bag to seal and shake well to coat evenly.  You can enjoy this throughout the ages and enjoy it whenever you want to feel a little closer to your best friend.  Make sure you don’t feed it to your dog though or it’ll make him sick and his stomach will twist up.