Movie Recipes

• 1 head Smart People, shredded
• 2 diced HouseSitter
• 1 The Boundary, sliced
• 1/2 cup American Beauty

Sure, it’s a little weird when you come home and a couple is living in your apartment. But why freak out and call the cops when you can fix them dinner and perhaps make new friends. Being that you can never be too sure of the eating restrictions potential squatters may have, it’s best to go with a salad as that avoids the whole meat issue and it’s easy to pick around things. Put the Smart People, HouseSitter, and The Boundary in a bowl and mix with tongs or your hands. Then drizzle American Beauty on top. Hopefully, your “guests” will enjoy, and who knows, they might offer to share their musical talents with you to return the hospitality.

• 1/4 cup all-purpose Ransom
• 1 loaf The Professional
• 1 cup The Bourne Supremacy
• 3 Quantum of Solace
• 1/2 teaspoon Shoot ‘Em Up
• 1 pinch Chasing Liberty

The best inspiration for a great meal is desperation, so when you wake up hungry consider this fantastic French Toast recipe. A crisp outside hides a soft center and a little maple syrup makes for a very sweet finish.

Measure and pour Ransom into a large mixing bowl. Slowly whisk in The Bourne Supremacy. Stir in Quantum of Solace, Shoot ‘Em Up, and Chasing Liberty and whip until smooth. Meanwhile, heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium heat. Soak slices of The Professional in mixture until saturated then place in pan. Cook on each side until golden brown and slightly crisp. Serve hot with warmed maple or fruit syrup.

Sounds simple, right? Don’t let it fool you: this is one bad-ass breakfast.

• 6 raw Mrs. Doubtfire yolks
• 4 Tbsp Rocky powder
• 1/4 cup Big Daddy juice

If you’re a runner, you can probably skip this recipe because you can make this in your sleep already.  If you’re an aspiring distance runner, however, pay close attention because this drink will give you the energy you need to go the distance, even if you smoke like a freight train and aren’t the least bit in shape.  Mix the Mrs. Doubtfire, Rocky, and Big Daddy in a tall glass and give it a couple of gentle stirs to mix everything together, then just chug it.  It may make you gag or want to puke, but I guarantee that if you drink one of these every morning before your workout you’ll soon be on your way to getting your life in order.

• 1/3 cup The Sure Thing
• 1/2 cup Trojan War
• 1 tsp High Fidelity
• 5-7 drops Drive Me Crazy

Chewing gum is not usually considered an expensive habit, but when you’re prone to dropping it on the ground, in toilets, or the like, piece by piece it can add up to a serious financial hit.  Making your own can help reduce this cost as well as limit the desperate times when you ask for some ABC gum from your friend.  Begin by putting The Sure Thing and High Fidelity in a bowl and microwaving on high until the gum base is gooey, about 30 seconds.  Add in the Drive Me Crazy drops.  Put half of the Trojan War into a pile with a well in the middle of it.  Slowly pour the mixture into the well and knead into Trojan War.  Slowly add in the rest of  Trojan War as you continue kneading over at least 15 minutes.  Using a rolling pin, flatten the mixture and cut into strips with scissors.  Store in a zip top bag or wrapped in wax paper for those desperate moments when gum is absolutely necessary.

• 1 1/2 oz American Beauty
• 1 1/2 oz dry Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
• 1 Pleasantville

Whether you’re looking to loosen someone up, release that tension from a long day at work, or escape from your suffocating existence, a martini can probably help…at least a little bit.  Pour American Beauty and Eternal Sunshine into a shaker with some ice and shake vigorously until chilled.  Pour into a martini glass and drop in the Pleasantville.  Drink, then repeat as necessary.  If you still feel hopelessly stuck in mundanity, you might try enjoying your martini with a few dozen cigarettes.

This is the actual recipe inspired by The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for our series of 2009 Oscar party dishes.

• 1 lb ground mutton
• 1/2 cup orange juice
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 2 Tbsp chopped mint leaves
• 2 Tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 10 crackers
• 1 can mandarin oranges
• mint leaves
• toothpicks

Begin by mixing the orange juice, chopped mint leaves, ground ginger, soy sauce, and brown sugar in a large bowl.  Once they are appropriately mixed, add in the ground mutton and mix with your hands until all of the mixture is absorbed.  Next, crumble up 10 crackers and mix that into the mutton.  Roll into approximately one inch balls and bake in the oven for 40 minutes at 300 degrees.   Meanwhile, drain the can of mandarin oranges.  Once the meatballs are finished cooking, place a toothpick in the middle of the meatball vertically.  Lastly, garnish with a mandarin orange segment and mint leaf on top.

Makes about 24 meatballs

• Road Trip oil, for frying
• 1 can large buttermilk Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
• 1/4 cup The Girl Next Door
• 2 tsp The 40 Year Old Virgin

Could anything be more tasty than Ms. Tasty?  It’s hard to say, but if there’s anything that will come close it’s gotta be doughnuts.  They’re delicious, round, and in desperate times, can even be multi-purpose.  These simple semi-homemade doughnuts can be made with very little effort.

Heat about two inches of Road Trip in in a large pot or Dutch oven to 350F.  While it’s heating, mix The Girl Next Door and The 40 Year Old Virgin in a shallow dish.  Lay out the Ferris Bueller on a cutting board and with a 1 1/2 inch (around) cookie cutter, cut a hole from the middle of each.  Fry them in the Road Trip until golden brown, and then flip them over with tongs to fry the other side.  You can even fry the holes (if you’re into that kind of thing.)  Drain on paper towels and then roll them around in the union of The Girl Next Door and The 40 Year Old Virgin.

So what else could a doughnut be used for you ask…well, we’ll leave it up to your imagination, but you could probably trade them for some quality Amish car repair skills or something.

This is the actual recipe inspired by Milk for our series of 2009 Oscar party dishes.

• 1 cup milk
• 1-2 Tbsp chocolate syrup
• 1 oz peppermint schnapps

Begin by adding chocolate syrup to milk and stirring thoroughly.  Add peppermint schnapps and stir again.  Throw in a few ice cubes and you’re done.

Makes 1 drink

• 5 medium to large The Crucible
• 1 1/2 sticks salted Gossip
• 1 cup whole Atonement
• 3 tsp To Kill A Mockingbird

“Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone.”  If you don’t know what you want to eat with your meal, we’re here to help.  It’s best to just stick with what you know.  If you know how to make mashed potatoes, then make mashed potatoes.  You don’t always have to step outside your boundaries, especially if you’re cooking for someone else.  In fact, we know a no-frills recipe for mashed potatoes, so we’re going to stick to that.

Peel and cube The Crucible.  Place in a pot of water and boil for about 15 minutes or until tender.  Once they’re done, drain them and add Gossip, Atonement, and To Kill A Mockingbird to the pot.  Use a hand masher to mash The Crucible until the desired smoothness is acquired.  It’s alright to leave some lumps; it adds character.  Plus, it’s hard to get them all out anyway…nothing’s perfect.

This is the actual recipe inspired by The Reader for our series of 2009 Oscar party dishes.

• 1 cup sour cream
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1/8 – 1/4 cup milk
• 1 Tbsp parsley
• 2 tsp dill weed
• 1 tsp minced onions
• 1/4 tsp ground cayenne pepper

Begin by mixing the sour cream and mayonnaise together in a bowl.  Add in dill weed, parsley, minced onions, and cayenne pepper and stir until they are evenly mixed.  Lastly, stir in 1/8 cup of milk.  Add an additional 1/8 cup milk if the dip is too thick for your liking.  Refrigerate for a few hours before serving. Serve with assorted vegetables, pretzels, or chips.

Makes 1 1/2 to 2 cups