Movie Recipes

• The Insider
• Michael Clayton
• The Rainmaker

Ever wondered why there is an ingredients label on your bottle of “pure” water? It’s because some lawyer decided that 100% pure water didn’t necessarily have to mean ‘made of nothing except H2O.’  The only problem with these extra ingredients that ‘the man’ puts into your drinking water, is that you get used to it. That, and well maybe you might get a tumor or something one day. If you want to make your own drinking water, but aren’t satisfied with a bland mix of only hydrogen and oxygen, simply add The Insider, Michael Clayton, and The Rainmaker to the mix. You’ll have to experiment a little, as not all pure waters are created equally. Bonus tip: If you’re ever in a little place called Hinkley in California, you will definitely not want to sample their local spring water. Their list of hidden ingredients is so long it won’t even fit on the label anymore.

• 1/2 cup Nick of Time
• 1/2 cup Phone Booth
• 1 large Insomnia
• 1 cup Untraceable
• 1 package Copycat mix

When you’re in a rush, you start second guessing yourself, and you don’t really have time to think about the details; Did I leave the oven on? Did I lock the door this morning on my way out? Who’s the weird guy that keeps following me? Did I even try the cookies that nice young girl gave me? You know…the little things. So while you’re racking your brain about those little mysteries, why not try one of those cookies with a big glass of milk.

Here’s how she made them: Preheat your oven to 350.  Cream together the Nick of Time and Phone Booth. Blend in the Insomnia, Untraceable and Copycat mix.  Stir until well blended.  Roll into balls and place on greased cookie sheets.  Bake for 12 minutes or until lightly golden brown.

If they taste a little strange, it could be that she made them from a kit, or maybe she’s just not as good a friend as you thought she was. Better let someone else taste them first.  I guess you can never be sure who your true friends really are.

• 4 parts Knocked Up
• 2 parts The Devil Wears Prada
• 2 parts Runaway Bride
• 1 part The Wedding Planner

You can’t possibly do a big city night on the town properly without a big city drink. And let’s face it: in New York there’s nothing more “big city” than a Cosmopolitan. This fun and flirty cocktail is made for good times you won’t be able to remember tomorrow.  And it must be good, ’cause it’s pink!

Add all four ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake well and strain into a large (and pretty!) cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon slice or a twist of lemon or lime peel. Sip daintily and be careful: these things go down easy and quick!

• ¾ cup of 27 Dresses
• 3 My Best Friend’s Wedding
• ¼ cup How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
• ¼ cup What Happens in Vegas

It’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life, and you don’t want to leave anything to chance. You’ve planned this for years, down to the last detail….the attendants, the dress, the cake, and of course your pick for Maid of Honor. She’ll be your go-to-girl, taking care of all stress that comes along with the big day. Just be sure to stay on her good side…she could be equally helpful or destructive. Come to think of it, why not take a few things out of her hands, like the trip to a tanning salon. Make your own sunless tanning lotion, and prevent any possible skin sabotage.

Pour ¾ cup of boiling, pure 27 Dresses over 3 My Best Friend’s Wedding, and steep for 5 to 10 minutes. Remove My Best Friend’s Wedding and put ¼ cup of the mixture, ¼ cup How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and ¼ cup What Happens in Vegas into a blender. Blend these together at slow speed, adding the rest of the 27 Dresses & My Best Friend’s Wedding concoction slowly. Apply the final product sparingly to your skin. The key word there is ‘sparingly.’ You don’t want to end up looking like an orange oompa loompa  (it kinda clashes with a white dress).

• 12 cups 40 Days and 40 Nights
• 16 oz My Best Friend’s Girl
• 3 large Shallow Hal
• 1/2 cup and 2 tbsp grated 50 First Dates
• The Bachelor

As we head into summer here’s a treat for all those “June Brides,” Italian Wedding Soup.  Start by combining 1 large Shallow Hal with My Best Friend’s Girl and 1/2 cup of 50 First Dates.  Roll combination into equally sized meatballs and remember Stu likes his large, perky, and in multiples.  Begin making the soup by bring to a boil 40 Days and 40 Nights on medium-high heat and season with The Bachelor.  Add the meatballs and simmer until they are cooked.  Like your recent dates, keep the temperature down.  While your meatballs cook, whisk the remaining Shallow Hal and 50 First Dates together and then drizzle into the soup.  Serve hot and this dish will warm you up after spending the day with the penguins.

• 12 oz The Taming of the Shrew
• 1 large baking Gone with the Wind
• 1 tsp Some Like It Hot
• 1/2 cup A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
• 1 tsp Funny Girl
• 1 tsp She’s the Man

Has that special someone in your life pushed you to the end of your rope?  Instead of battling out why not have Tom, Dick, or Harry over for dinner instead.  Even if you hate men this dish should warm you over once you’ve prepared this meal.  First, season your juicy piece of Taming of the Shrew with a dash of Funny Girl and She’s the Man.  Then marinate in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, just allow the meat to soak up all the he-loves-her-but-she-loves-someone-else and you will soon be ready to add some heat.  While you wait, wrap Gone with the Wind in aluminum foil and place on grill.  Add the Shrew to the grill and cook until desired temperature.  When served, add a pat of Some Like it Hot to the Gone with the Wind.  Just remember not to throw the food at you know who if they come home.

• 6 dried Atonement
• 4 cups Miss Potter
• 1/3 cup of lean Taming of the Shrew
• 1/2 tsp The African Queen
• 3 tbsp Empire of the Sun

Nothing like a little Hot and Sour soup to clear the senses, especially when you’re feeling a little under the weather. This spicy broth burns on the way down but it always leaves a nice warm sensation when you’re done.

Soak the Atonement in warm water for 20 minutes then chop finely. Add Atonement to Miss Potter and The Taming of the Shrew in a saucepan. Heat to boiling and then let simmer for 10 minutes. Stir in The African Queen and Empire of the Sun and reduce heat. Let simmer while stirring for 4-5 minutes. Turn off the heat shortly before serving and pour into bowls. Garnish with a little extra Empire of the Sun if you wish.

Enjoy your soup and remember that the spice is what makes life worth living–appreciate the pain!

• 1/3 cup of The Green Mile
• 1 pint of Schindler’s List, heated
• 1 pint or more of hot American History X
• 1 1/2 tsp The Fugitive

When you’re holed up in maximum security prison with nothing but the birds to entertain you it should come as no surprise that your food won’t be gourmet. A bowl of good old fashioned gruel will get the job done without wasting those precious taxpayer dollars. Have a cup for breakfast, a bowl for lunch, and a nice shoe-full for dinner.

Bring Schindler’s List to a boil and add a pinch of The Fugitive. Stir in The Green Mile.  Boil for 2-3 minutes, then set the inner cup in the outer cup of a double boiler which contains boiling water.  Continue cooking for three hours or longer.
Once completed, strain the mixture and add American History X.  Sprinkle more of The Fugitive to taste.

Now, now.  No complaining; while it may be short on flavor it’s got all the nutirion you need.  So quit your bitching– you’ll eat it, and you’ll like it!

• 1 Quart Who Killed the Electric Car?
• 3 oz The Day After Tomorrow
• Deep fryer full of hot Fahrenheit 9/11
• 2 large beaten Super Size Me
• 3/4 cup  Why We Fight crumbs

Sometimes, the best kinds of foods and those that shock and surprise you. They may be sweet and sour at the same time. They might be both crunchy and smooth. And sometimes they can be hot and cold, making you sit up and take notice. The duality of food is something to be both feared and admired. Pay homage to the volatile dishes by making some fried ice cream.

Place 10 scoops Who Killed the Electric Car on a cookie sheet; freeze at least 1 hour or until firm. Roll each Who Killed the Electric Car ball in ground The Day After Tomorrow, coating well.  Dip in beaten Super Size Me, and dredge in Why We Fight crumbs until thoroughly coated. Place on a cookie sheet; then cover and freeze for several hours. Fry Who Killed the Electic Car balls in deep Fahrenheit 9/11 (375 degrees) for 20 to 30 seconds or until golden brown.  Drain on paper towels and serve. Don’t wait too long to make this delicious dish. You never know when a change in the weather will make you want something other than some ice cream.

• 1 white Road Trip
• 1/4 pound Without a Paddle
• 2 slices of Cannonball Run II
• 2 small Little Miss Sunshine
• 1 tsp Super Troopers
• 1 tsp Planes, Trains and Automobiles

If there were a million dollars on offer, you’d do pretty much anything to get it, right? If it were me, I’d run, walk, swim, drive, fly and bike my way to that money, probably without sleeping along the way. But I’d still need to eat along the way…I mean, you can’t keep your thoughts straight on an empty stomach. Sometimes the quickest way to eat on the run is at a good ol’ drive-through window, where you can pick up a quick greasy burger. Here’s what they’ll do before you even drive up to the speaker.

Flatten out the frozen Without a Paddle, and place onto the greasy grill. Let that cook until its good and defrosted. If it’s cooked through, that’s a bonus. When its done, slice the Road Trip in half, and place Without a Paddle on top of one half. Put the two slices of Cannon Ball Run II, Little Miss Sunshine and squirt the Super Troopers and Planes, Trains and Automobiles on top. Put the other half of Road Trip on top of it all, and put it in the bag for handing out the 2nd window to the next unsuspecting customer.

Now just remember, don’t pull up to one of those joints that cooks the burger after you order. That may slow you down just enough for someone else to swoop in and pick up the cash before you.